Parents listen to your children…
...we are the leaders of tomorrow, come and pay our school fees and give us sound education”
I can remember my sister and me jamming to this primary school song as we marched towards our classrooms in our red flay skirts, white and red checkered shirts, neat and pressed.
I was discussing with some of my colleagues and we were expressing our disgust with the attitude of some parents who see children as a burden and think the best way to take care of the problem is to ship them off to one boarding school or the other.
I went to a boarding school and I decided from the young age of 10 that my kids will not attend a boarding school even if it belongs to the most religious Christian on planet earth.
Life is unpleasant there, I lived in constant fear and whenever I told my mom I didn't like the school, she would say “ other people there don't have two heads, you can do it too” she was right, I did it. But it came with its consequences like being a people pleaser, being shy, low self-esteem, anxiety, ineffective communication skills, etc
But our parents no dey try sha, you must have guessed this is about Sylvester, the promising young boy who was molested to death by other students because he refused to join a cult. The school said his injuries were a result of a football accident. I am a health care provider and from videos, I have seen online and information I have gathered that is a lie.
But I am not here to talk about the school, I am here to talk about Negligence on the part of our parents.
Parents who chose careers over children.
Parents who drum the Bible quotation “Children obey your parents for this is the first commandment with promise” while neglecting the other verses.
Parents who see their children as burdens.
Parents who ship us to boarding schools.
Parents who think they know it all.
Parents who blame their children for everything.
Parents who ignore the silent war that goes on within their children even when the signs are glaring.
Parents who think that financial aid is the only thing they have to and should offer.
Parents who force us to grow up fast because they are not there for us, so we have to cater for ourselves emotionally and otherwise.
*A child who seems smarter than his/her age needs to be monitored*
Smart here is not interpreted in its usual way, smart here means when a child is more mature for his/her age.
“I provide all your needs, what else do you want me to do” that's something a typical negligent Nigerian parent would yell at his/her child who refuses to go to school or do something they have been ordered to do.
Are you raising a robot or a human being?
If you don't want to have/raise children, don't. Your desire to have children is not a reason to have children if you cannot cater to their needs. The world is full of killers, rapists, sadists, mentally deranged souls partly because parents failed to serve as good role models.
*Can your child say you are his/her role model?*
If you want to be a career woman or man, by all means, do that but subjecting your child(ren) to torture from strangers because of your negligence is wickedness and pure evil. Do not blame them when they kill or hurt your child, blame yourself.
Suing them to court and chasing them up and down with law enforcement agencies might make you feel good for a while, but every night you go to bed you are constantly reminded by your conscience that “you” are the reason your child(ren) is dead. Deep down you know you could have done better and you didn't, their death will serve as a reminder of your negligence.
Where were you when your child needed you the most? Securing a deal I guess, making money, going to a party, etc and then the nurse walks into the waiting room to announce to you that your child is dead because of multiple injuries sustained from an “avoidable” accident and you are weeping and bawling on the floor, blaming the devil and the perpetrators of evil whilst the real devil is you. Shame on you!!!
Your child have been complaining to you about this situation from the onset but you were too busy to listen. I was once a child and I know from experience that more often than not, children do not communicate their displeasure verbally, you can see that in changes in their eating habits, the loss of interest in their favorite toys, the sudden withdrawal from family and friends, the anxiety in their eyes etc. But no, mummy and daddy have to be someplace closing an important deal.
Don't blame the devil, don't blame the human instruments he used. Blame yourself, you failed your child(ren) you failed parenthood and you failed God.
Let me reiterate my point; if you can't give your absolute best to your child, do not have children. The fewer children there is the less number of mentally unstable people the society have to deal with.
Juveniles are hard work and parenthood is not for the weak of heart.
P.S: Shout out to parents who give their all, I genuinely love you. You make the world a better place.