BREAKUPS: HOW TO DEAL WITH ‘EM FRIENDSHIPS, RELATIONSHIPS AND THE OTHER SHIP👀
“Loving can hurt, loving can hurt, but its the only thing that I…”
Forgive me, I can’t remember the word, Ed Sheeran sang that and if you are a fan drop a love emoji in the comments.
Is there anyone who hasn’t been through a breakup, let him speak now or forever hold his peace. No one? Thought as much.
Breakups are not something we are alien to, in whatever manner or form of relationship, at one point we may have been forced to let go of something we weren’t ready for and that’s okay, its growth and growth is part of life.
I believe friendship breakups hurt as much as relationship breakups if not more. Losing a friend or a lover not to death but someone else or themselves can be devastating and heart-shattering.
We all have different ways of dealing with breakups, some are great and others not so great, so here are my tips on how to deal with breakups healthily.
Cry it all out.
Don’t pretend that you are not hurting that will only extend your healing. So cry it all out, take your time, you can journal about it while crying, talk to God, don’t forget your bowl of ice cream, etc You see that burden on your chest, can you feel it? It tends to get lighter when you acknowledge your feelings, crying is part of being human don’t debt yourself that.
Eat and Hydrate.
You: Is this girl normal?
Me: Yes, I am normal. If you are crying you need good food and clean water. I mean you don’t want to jeopardize your physical health as well. So eat and hydrate.
Use the delete/Mute/Block button.
You: Why?
Me: Yes! The last thing you want is to see updates about them popping up in your feeds. You can do this temporarily or permanently. But for your healing to take place this is important. You can also leave social media for a while, it’s very helpful, hard at first but with time you get to appreciate the peace.
Be accountable.
Yes, we always blame them for what they did and didn’t do but what about you? What did you do and what did you not do? Be brutally honest with yourself.
Give yourself time to heal.
It doesn’t matter the amount of time it will take, be patient with yourself you will get through this.
Forgive.
Like it or not, what happened has happened, holding a grudge will do you no good. Forgive yourself, forgive them, and move on. But do this on your terms, don’t pressure yourself into forgiveness. From experience, I know forgiveness is hard, take your time.
Important notice.
Make better decisions and set standards. What changes do you want to see in your next relationship or friendship? What do you want to do away with? Are you ready for a new relationship or friendship? What kind of friend or partner do you need? Are you the kind of partner or friend they need? What criteria should one have before you can consider being friends with them.
In conclusion,
With true love comes vulnerability, so don’t regret being vulnerable. In a year or two you might be happy the breakup happened, who knows?
I have been hurt before and it feels like shit, I would describe the feeling as my stomach and heart trading places, it’s not a place I would wish an enemy, so I feel you. I pray you get through this and come out better on the other side.
